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A Guide To Driving in Spain – Part Two: Traffic Lights

By Sammy Nour

traffic-light-1360645__340There are two ways to pull away from traffic lights.

The least common approach is to go just before the light goes green.  You can get the timing right by watching the pedestrian man turn red, at this point, you know you are good to go.  This is my preferred option as I’ve normally got some shit to do.

  1. The most common method is to wait for a good two to eight seconds after the light goes green before releasing the handbrake, putting the car into gear and then pulling away.  traffic-light-2411796__340There is no need to go when the light goes green; this is Spain- what’s the fucking rush? A good way to kill that time is to: chat with your friends whilst making dramatic gestures; text on your phone; or the most popular- stare blankly into space.
  2. Should anyone behind choose to rudely give you a polite beep with their horn to jolt you back into reality, make sure you give them what I call the ‘ponderous stare.’ Now, this is going to take some time to perfect in the mirror at home between coffee and it’s important that you get it right.

driving 2I like to think of it as being somewhere between when man first looked up at the sky and thought ‘Why am I here?’ and the look on Tyrion Lannister’s face when he first sees that dragon flying overhead in Game of Thrones.  (If you can nail that then you’ve made it mate).

Give what you can to the idiot who’s in such a rush to get going at the traffic lights, because this person is obviously acting strangely.

More to follow…

21/06/2019 Filed Under: Poems Leave a Comment

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